4 reasons I was grateful for the first frost this year
Photo by Chris Anderson on Unsplash
Our first day of frost was at the start of December. It happened that I was having a bad day that day. Despite my bad mood, I remember appreciating several things about the frost.
It was beautiful
Even grumpy, I had to admit it was spectacular. The pathways sparkled. Those classic ice crystal shapes were scattered everywhere and looking, quite frankly, unrealistic with their fairy tale charm. Frost transformed everything around us: run-of-the-mill grass, nettles and leaves became a magical wonderland.
2. It reminded me to be patient with my children
Seeing them delight in their first experience of frost reminded me what a short time they’ve been alive. A few days later, when it snowed, I asked them if snow was as they expected. They said they hadn’t expected it to be so cold and wet! Clearly my warnings and explanations (and failed attempts to put more layers of clothing on them) did not carry the same weight as their direct experience. It reminded me that sometimes when I feel irritated that they are doing something that I think will obviously end up creating problems (and probably more work for me), it’s not necessarily obvious to them. In many ways their lack of experience is also freeing, because they are less bound than me by all the expectations created by experience - and which are, after all just expectations not facts. So they try things and discover, in a way that I do not, because I think I already know what will happen.
3. It reminded me to choose moments of joy, curiosity and play
As my children laughed, skidding across icy puddles and experimenting with ice, I wanted to hurry them along - we were late! All these years in a society that values being productive and efficient at all times means it’s really hard for me slow down and appreciate these moments. But researchers believe that prioritising happiness is more likely to lead to success anyway, and the exact attributes my children were demonstrating - like curiosity - are identified by Psychologists as key to being strong, resilient and thriving. As an adult I have some unlearning to do. I hope to avoid teaching my children to override their instinct to play and explore, so that I can save them the hassle of having to work hard to cultivate those same practices later.
4. It was such a dramatic change in the environment that it forced me to take notice
It’s so easy to hurry along and not pay attention to our surroundings. There is so much competing for our attention, and many of us pay most attention to the contents of our own minds and the ‘realities’ of our own creation: the burdens, plans, thoughts, expectations, worries, calculations etc. One of the 5 ways to wellbeing is ‘take notice’, but it is not always easy for us in these busy times. The frost made it easier.
Appreciating gratitude
There is a lot of evidence to suggest that being grateful – whether because of a natural tendency or deliberate efforts – has a whole range of positive impacts on mental and physical health. Being grateful has been associated with more life satisfaction, improved relationships, reduced risk for depression, more resilience, being more energetic, more determined, doing more exercise, and generally feeling happier. For many of us being grateful doesn’t come easily but it is a skill that can be learnt. On that first frosty day the environment was so different that it was possible for me to feel grateful at the same time as being in a bad mood and having a bad day - and the research shows that this can be powerful for resilience. But mostly, for obvious reasons, in the middle of challenging circumstances is not the easiest time to feel grateful - and trying might even make you feel worse. One thing you can do, is to train your brain to catch the opportunities for gratitude that you normally miss in day-to-day life. Usually our brains are primed to see other things – risks, things that are relevant to our to-do list, evidence to support our beliefs etc. It takes conscious, intentional and regular efforts to train the brain to pay attention to things to be grateful for. With practice, you are more likely to start doing it naturally, without the effort and even under stress. We don’t always get the luxury of something like the frost, which captured my attention and was so obviously wonderful that it was easy to be grateful for it.
